Top Chef: If you can't stand the heat . . .

There always has to be a cute one. Women love cute guys. Women love cute guys who can cook even more. This is why this formula has to be repeated season after season: top chef has x# of contestants, one of which is a the token "hot guy", and some female eye candy for the boyfriends who get stuck watching the show because their girlfriends are all watching the token hot guy.

Token Hot Guy Season 1: Season one token hot guy was, Harold Dieterle. He also happened to be the early favorite and ultimate winner. How awesome is it that he has his own myspace page? And also his own restaurant called Perilla? Download the Perilla menu in PDF format and tell me that the Summer Truffle Ravioli doesn't sound really good.

Token Hot Guy Season 2: The title of "Season 2 Token Hot Guy" goes to Sam "the hot diabetic" Talbot. In his submission video he's talking about making love in duck fat. Little girls at the kids camp called him "the hot diabetic." Currently Sam, is working as a Consulting Executive Chef in New York City. He has been spending time traveling to food and wine shows and doing cooking demos. A diabetic himself, Talbot works with the Junior Diabetes Foundation and helps out with the “Chefs for a Cure” event.

Notable Mention: Carlos Fernandez: currently hosting "Miami Spice" and blog "SabrosSazon" Although mostly overlooked because he was Elia's little brother throughout the competition, I thought that he deserved the nod because of his obvious star power.

Token Hot Guy Season 3: Obviously, token hot guy season 3 was Tre. In the sea of homogeneous white boys who I easily confuse, there's Tre. You see him working out, you see him being nice to other contestants, you see him winning a trip to Italy, you see him cooking fabulous stuff, and then you see him working out some more. Note his exit interview, he's so nice!

the Dark Knight

So who isn't obsessed with Batman? Everything about him is interesting from his dark beginnings, to his mysterious connections with the supernatural Raz Al Gul and peculiar fixation with the super-sane joker ?(See Arkham Asylum)


I'm not alone in asserting that the new Batman movie is going to be fantastic. But who knows why? I sure didn't . . . until now. Was it the cryptic trailer? Was it the very short ComiCon 2007 treasure hunt? There are really very few clues as to the veracity of the rumors that the new Batman movie will "kick ass." (Did anyone see photos of GutPunch Paul? He's fearsome!)

But then along came this collection of plot-revealing photos. From the collection of photos below I assume:
1) Joker is captured by someone (arguably Gotham PD) and interrogated by Batman. Raises significant 6th amendment issues, as you see Joker cowering on the ground below Batman. Way to taint evidence Batman!
2) There is some sort of hostage situation with multiple Batmen.
3) Gadgets Gadgets Gadgets! We see the beginning of a bat computer? This makes me think: "is there an Oracle in our future?" *note tenuous oracle-joker connection which only jong probably understands.







For all photos: try BuzzSugar

kangaroos!

Penal Code Sec. 653o, which bars importation into California of any commercial product made of kangaroo, is not preempted by the federal Endangered Species Act of 1973 and related regulations, which currently do not prohibit importation of kangaroo products.
Viva! International Voice for Animals v. Adidas Promotional Retail Operations, Inc. - filed July 23, 2007
Cite as 2007 SOS 4513
Full text http://www.metnews.com/sos.cgi?0707%2FS140064

dancing transformers

I was searching for a mini cooper transformer video on Youtube and happened upon this hilarious video!

Tokidoki - The Moofia Series 1

tokidoki is so unbelievably cute! thanks to paul for the tokidoki dunny and pins.

I Still Remember - the song that should've been on singstar

So Yesterday I was playing the PS2 Singstar Rocks! ( http://www.us.playstation.com/SingStarRocks/ ) They have the unbelievably hard Bloc Party song "Banquet" as a song option. I had very little idea about what the song was about before we tried it out on the singstar. I still have no idea what the song is about. There's references to biting, and turning into the light, and smoking guns. Is it about vampires?

More accessible is the song "I Still Remember" a bittersweet reminiscence of what could've been. awwww


Mossteph's Top 10 Things Learned While Playing Singstar
1) You must hold the microphone upsidedown like you're 50 Cent (it makes for a higher score.)
2) Google what a "moskva" is. it may help you understand what "Winds of Change" is about.
3) I went on a date with someone who kinda looks like Robert Smith
4) Lynyrd Skynyrd v. Niel Young (had an early version of the lyrical rivalry?!)
5) That Good Charlotte guy is currently dating Nicole Richie.
6) (more like a question) I wonder if Slipknot cares that Good Charlotte guy is wearing one of their teeshirts. How do they feel about being associated? I think they're sad.
7) "Dusty" is a great androgynous name. Boys AND girls can both be Dusty. But then it's some type of self fulfilling prophecy to have dirty kids.
8) That band "Naked Eyes" does the 80s version of Burt Bacharach classic "Always Something There to Remind Me." (see previous Burt Bacharach post)
9)(Psycho)analysis of the Gwen Stefani video for Cool - a) Gwen as a brunette is hot b) her outfit in the opening scene does not match and is pretty ugly as a whole - I dissent in part - I think it's okay from the waist up c) how are you happy hanging out with your ex boyfriend and his beautiful new girlfriend AND having flashbacks of your happy times together? This does not make sense.
10) Continuing #9 . . . why doesn't she feel like her ex boyfriend should just die? this is a feeling that I'm used to. all this friendliness is confusing.

Stephanie's Apricot Crumbles

Ingredients:

2 sticks unsalted butter, cold, cut into pieces
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup apricot jam or preserves
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger

Heat oven to 375° F. Coat an 8-inch square baking dish with 1 tablespoon of the butter.

In a food processor, combine the flour, granulated and light brown sugars, baking powder, and salt. Pulse to combine. Add the remaining butter and pulse until crumbly. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and pulse until the mixture just comes together but is still crumbly. Transfer 1/2 cup of the dough to a small bowl or cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. Use your fingertips to press the remaining dough evenly into the baking dish, pushing the dough up about 1/4 inch around the edge.

Combine the jam and ginger in a small bowl. Spread the mixture evenly over the crust. Crumble the remaining refrigerated dough over the top. Bake until golden, about 35 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for 20 minutes before cutting.

Tip: If you're time-pressed, just stick the pan in the freezer for 5 minutes instead of waiting for the bars to cool on the counter.

Yield: Makes 9 servings

CALORIES 408 (46% from fat); FAT 21g (sat 13g); SUGAR 23g; PROTEIN 3g; CHOLESTEROL 77mg; SODIUM 111mg; FIBER 1g; CARBOHYDRATE 52g

Real Simple, JUNE 2006


J Bar Variation

Add apple pie filling instead of apricot and ginger. Apple pie filing is more moist. This recipe will require 4 additional minutes of baking time and Cinnamon if not included in your pie filling.

Personality Test

So I took this personality test. I'm some sort of bisexual anarchist. I have very low consideration for authority and scored high in traditionally feminine and masculine traits. I'm thinking this test isn't very accurate.


My personalDNA Report

Mozzer

Dear hero imprisoned
With all the new crimes that you are perfecting
Oh, I cant help quoting you
Because everything that you said rings true
And now in my cell
(well, I followed you)
And heres a list of who I slew

Reggie kray - do you know my name ?
Oh, dont say you dont
Please say you do, (oh) I am :

The last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous
International playboys
And in my cell
(well, I loved you)
And every man with a job to do
Ronnie kray - do you know my face ?
Oh, dont say you dont
Please say you do, (oh) I am :

The last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous
International playboys

In our lifetime those who kill
The newsworld hands them stardom
And these are the ways
On which I was raised
These are the ways
On which I was raised

I never wanted to kill
I am not naturally evil
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you
Have I failed ?

Oh... 

Oh, the last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous

burt!

Yesterday I saw Burt Bacharach in concert. Honestly, I knew only like 5 songs as Burt Bacharach songs. At the end of the show I came to the realization that I knew all the songs just didn't know they were Burt Bacharach songs!

Cousin said something like "When else are we going to see 12 people assembled for the express purpose of performing "That's What Friends are For"?" I was thinking "never ever!"

Did you know he wrote the "always something there to remind me" song fromthe 80s? I didn't know that!

Jellies that you can't eat.

Also notable are the stupid comments by people on you tube like "i hear that if you touch jellyfish they die" or "you're crazy to go in that lake" He probably wasn't even in the lake just panning his camera around. I didn't see any regulator bubbles. did you?

Check Out Adam and Joe Go To Tokyo - normally un funny and ofensive but this one is good

IP and Tea . . .

FROM THE MAY ABA JOURNAL

Mixing IP with Mmmmmm
By Martha NeilThere’s a multipage nondisclosure agreement that visitors must sign before they’re allowed in the kitchen at Moto restaurant in Chicago. And some of the food prepared by executive chef Homaro Cantu is served with a copyright notice.
From left: Lawyer Charles Valauskas and his chef-client Homaro Cantu snack on photos printed on edible paper--one of Cantu's many culinary-related inventions.
PHOTOGRAPH BY CALLIE LIPKIN
Cantu is part culinary pioneer, part prolific inventor—which makes him an intellectual property attorney’s dream cli­ent. What worries Cantu most, he says, isn’t chefs or individual diners trying to re-create his signature preparation and pres­entation. It’s corporations capitalizing on his gastronomic inventions and restaurant management methods without authorization. Hence Cantu’s close relationship with his lawyer, Charles C. Valauskas. The two frequently talk and meet for meals to make sure no opportu­nity is missed to patent, copyright, trademark or otherwise protect Cantu’s creations from would-be business buccaneers.“He’s got a large intellectual property portfolio, and we talk on a very, very regular basis,” says Valauskas, a principal in the three-lawyer IP boutique Valauskas & Pine in Chicago. “It’s listening to what the new inventions are; it’s strategizing what’s the best way to protect the new techniques.”It would be standard practice, for instance, for an IP attorney to file a pa­tent application once a cli­ent has completed a new invention. But because Valauskas and Cantu are in such regular contact, Valauskas can follow Cantu’s ideas as they develop. “We stay on top of that,” Valauskas says, “and we continue to file as he continues to refine his invention.”Those inventions include the whimsical—a spiral-handled fork designed to hold a sprig of basil that adds an aromatic element to each bite of food taken from the business end of the utensil—as well as high-tech business management tools. One of those tools involves a camera set unobtrusively into an upper wall of Moto. The camera is linked to a computer, allowing staff to track important aspects of the restaurant’s operation. The system can warn when usage rates threaten to deplete supplies, notify the kitchen when a diner leaves for the restroom so the chefs can adjust the spacing of their preparations, and anticipate orders from regular customers. And it’s all linked to Cantu’s cell phone so he can be in the loop even when he’s not in the building.Then there’s Cantu’s celebrated edible paper—a soybean and cornstarch concoction that can be imprinted with virtually any image and any flavor. The chef prints his menu on it (along with a copyright notice), and when diners are finished ordering, they can eat it.In addition to the copyright, Valauskas has filed a patent application on the process Cantu uses to create the paper. Both believe the paper holds the potential for myriad commercial uses such as magazine advertising inserts.Valauskas began rep­resenting Cantu about four years ago, after the chef realized he needed to find an IP attorney and asked another lawyer he knew for a recommendation. At that point, Cantu was seeking to patent a tiny, see-through polymer oven that allowed food to be cooked at the table without any visible power source. The two met, and Cantu showed off his oven. “I saw the prototype, and it floored me,” Valauskas recounts. “I just got excited at the possibilities.”©2007 ABA Journal

looking for a job?

Marcel definitely qualifies as having "crazy hair." Would he be a good candidate for "office jester?" read below.

Office Jester
Posted Mar 30
The Motley Fool, Alexandria, VA

Office JesterThe Motley Fool seeks an outgoing, multi-talented Fool to be our full-time Office Jester. That's right; we work hard and have fun too. We couldn’t be the Motley Fool without our own Jester, after all. The ideal individual will embrace our core value of Joyful Optimism, bringing humor, entertainment, and amusement to all employees and visitors of Fool Global HQ. This is not a new position but it offers great flexibility in execution.

Primary Responsibilities/Objectives:

* Roam office entertaining employees

* Plan and execute parties and happy hours

* Participate in all company meetings and gatherings as an interstitial speaker

* Identify struggling or overworked Fools or Teams and brighten their day

* Function as office DJ, managing/programming the office sound system. Manage musical requests efficiently, while keeping the office bumping.

* Order pizza for Pizza Day

* Repair damaged jester caps

* Construct complex balloon animals

* Care and feeding of the office monkey, Dr. Zaius

* Ride in Foolmobile as body double decoy for Gardner brothers

* Piggyback carry the winner of The Motley Fool Stock Picking Contest in St. Patrick’s Day

Parade Core Competencies:

* Current on all reality TV

* Pop Culture expert, able to postulate about Season 3 of Lost*

Always at the ready with a quip or comeback.

* Equally comfortable in a jester cap and bear suit

* MS Excel

* Proven game room skills as a formidable adversary in Halo, Ms. Pacman and Bubble Hockey; ability to convincingly let management win on occasion.*

Juggle chainsaws, bowling balls, and one item of your choosing

* Have >50 answers to knock-knock jokes, at least half of which must be funny

* Must have authored at least one viral video of moderate fame.

* Can tap a keg on the first try

* Extra napkins and utensils at the ready for Fools eating at their desks

* Can chug beer, shotgun beer, guzzle beer, snort beer, play beer pong, flip cup, 3 man, do beer bongs, beer cheers, keg stands, and bluegills with the best of them

Preferred Qualities:

* Friends would tell you that you are “seriously funny!” but they are laughing so hard they can’t breathe

* Tall or short but we prefer that you not be of average height, as it’s not as funny

* Crazy hair

* Annoying and easily recognizable laugh

* Friends with at least one B list celebrity. (No reality contestants)

* Experience in three of the following: Stand up, Street mime, rally racing, horticulture, pottery, rapping, paragliding, cattle ranching, roller skiing, ballet, actual break dancing/popping, ice fishing, chess

* Blood type AB (or equivalent)

* Ability to type 90 words a minute, replacing all vowels with various forms of smileys

Education:

* Clown college, Improv school, School of the Americas, Brown, or equivalent experience

APPLY ONLY at jobs.Fool.com

Meiji - Kinoko No Yama (Chocolate Coated Mushroom Shaped Cookies) 3.13 Oz

This is the best snack ever. i love it. people in my office love it. it's internationally famous. (via maki)

Wallpapers

Dear Readers,



This week I was totally inspired by my friend's dedication to art. As a matter of fact I am quite jealous of her talent. But back to her dedication, she's having her entire back tattooed with her family name, a chinese goddess and a demon. She also says she was born on the day of "conflicted karma" and dualism affects her life. I thought it was a beautiful idea for body art. We also discussed how eerily accurate Chinese astrology and fortunes can be.



The statue and the colorscheme of this wallpaper remind me of her. (via charlesyesuwan)

Anonymous Lawyer

May 1, 2006
Return to Index
Anonymous Law Firm named top firm in Bosnia
Bosnia's celebrated legal journal, "Bosnia Legal News and Sausage Report," released its annual law firm rankings on May 1, 2006, and once again, for the third consecutive year, Anonymous Law Firm landed first on the list. Despite the lack of a Bosnian office, associates working out of the London office began representing Bosnian clients in their local jurisdiction in March of 1999. We quickly developed a reputation as a sensitive, responsive, and quick-reaction law firm, able to deal with the complex needs of sheep farmers and goat manufacturers in the hills of Bosnia. The Firm is proud of its involvement with the Bosnian community and takes part in Bosnia's annual "Kill Your Third-Born Son" festival.



The above is an excerpt taken from www.AnonymousLawFirm.com. Hilarious site re: big law firm life. I wouldn't know anything about big law firm life, but I know some archetypical characters persist in firms of all sizes, even those with 13 members.

I think this person looks like my twin!

asahi the dog

shoot to kill

So some people were scared of me when they heard of my propensity to strike my friends or random guys at clubs. Invariably these tales ended up with someone falling over, and me saying "I'm not that sorry."

Now check this out . . . This past week I was invited to a shooting range. This was awesome. Vivian and Portia (both small asian women about my size) like shooting guns. Especially this big rifle. This is a close relative of the gun the military uses in Iraq.

I shot 40 rounds. 38 hit the target. I'm not sure where 2 went. 37 or so were in the black area that I was aiming for.

I think most surprising was the way the shooting range smells. Like burning latex gloves. Or an intense copymachine.* special thanks to Mikey for lending me materials and showing me how to shoot.