Bacon Chocolate and M.I.A.

This is the best thing I heard this week:



I've yet to eat this but i know it'll be good:

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe
Bacon chocolate chip cookies-
(this is for a FULL batch)

3/4 cup butter(It has been suggested that using 1 full cup of butter works best due to cookie dough dryness)
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon hazelnut (or almond) extract *Edit- It has been suggested that the almond flavouring may be overpowering to the flavour of the cookie, feel free to add this ingredient to taste*
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 egg (It has been suggested that using 2 eggs works best due to cookie dough dryness)
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup dark or semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 cups bacon bits (if preferred, you can separate the dough into two parts and only make half of the dough into bacon cookies, in which case you'll only want to use 1 cup bacon bits)

*An important note- Be sure to use real bacon bits, not Bacos *See large print at the bottom of this post*

Also, you can make your own bacon bits, just make sure you pat down the bacon chunks with paper towels to remove as much extra bacon grease as possible. *Edit* one of my readers made their own bacon bits and found out that apparently it takes about 2lbs of bacon to make 2 cups of bacon bits, just for future reference.

Directions-

preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit

Beat together the butter, sugars, flavouring and eggs until creamy. In another bowl, sift together the dry ingredients. Add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and stir together. Dough will be slightly soft. If you want a cakier cookie, add another half cup of flour. Add in chocolate chips and bacon bits. Stir until well integrated. Place dough on a sheet of waxed paper and refrigerate at least an hour. Remove dough from fridge, pinch off 1 1/2 inch pieces of dough and roll into balls. Set dough balls about 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten dough balls slightly with your fingers in the center.

Bake cookies for about 10 minutes, or until the dough starts to turn golden brown. Allow cookies to cool on a cooling rack while you ready the glaze.

Maple cinnamon glaze-

2 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon maple extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon *edit- it has been suggested that 1 teaspoon may be a bit much, so go ahead and add to taste*
enough water to make a thick glaze (I used about 3 tablespoons)

Mix all ingredients together until smooth and creamy. If lumpy, use a whisk.

Spread a small amount of the glaze on the top of each cookie and top with a small piece of crisp cooked bacon.


Recipe Stolen from Here

Rage Against the Machine at Vegoose 2007

Hello Reader(s)

It may be a little late but . . . Halloween weekend I attended the Vegoose 2007 festival in Las Vegas Nevada. This was by far the longest I've ever traveled to go see a show. (that is if you don't count DJ Mitsu in Japan, but I was living there, and traveled approx six miles) The highlight of the show was Rage Against the Machine. I was delighted to be able to yell the lyrics to "Bomb Track" but appalled to hear DeLaRocha edit Guerrilla Radio. I want to be able to scream disparaging things about Americana in front of Suburban America! But alas, it was not meant to be. Seeing Morello play guitar solos really made my day. I feel like I can die a happy girl. For a man whose favorite songs include labor union songs never meant to be played . . . that man sure can play! It's great to be able to openly and notoriously enjoy Rage. I was hiding tapes of their music in high school. You were kinda a hippie if you liked them in college. Now they're considered "classic." But when did they get so cool?



Other notables: Muse and the Public Enemy v. Cypress Hill DJ Battle.
Notable for a different reason: The Shins. someone on stage kept on making this crazy dinosaur noise like a raptor zeroing in on its prey. Also Flava Flaaaaaaaave!

why do you want to be an attorney?

Hey readers, I would check out the whole article, but this clip gives the flavor of it. It is regarding the Hooters waitress who got kicked off a Southwest flight for her miniskirt. She did a photo shoot for Playboy. Was paid under 6 figures for the shoot. Also she aspires to be an attorney. Why?

'Ebbert worked at a Hooters in San Diego but said wants to become an attorney, and doesn’t think posing nude should get in the way of her professional aspirations.

“This was beautiful and classy. I don’t see why it would affect a professional position,” she said. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”'

second best thing i found this week

ha matt says "arigato japan" hahaha



this album helped me survive law school. arguably (and ironically) it's all about suicide.

the best thing i found this week

kentucky strip search hoax 20/20

Not directly about food or music, but this was otherwise entertaining. This eightee year old girl worked in a McDonalds in Kentucky, came to work, was accused of stealing money from the till and then ended up naked, beaten, and performing a sex act on a forty year old man at the direction of a "ghost cop" on the phone. This girl won 6.1 million dollars and now wants to go to law school. I hope she learns a lot about criminal procedure. This is what happens when people don't ask questions.

the Rentals

I saw the Rentals on September 21, 2007. I was really into them like in September of 1995; so it was a kinda retro feel. I liked the songs about not having a brain and wishing to learn a foreign language. D said he liked all the songs where there was some "whoo ooh" going on. Isn't that like 75% of the songs? But I would concur that approximately 75% of the songs were catchy danceable awesome songs. Especially enjoyable were: "Life Without a Brain", the "Barcelona" song and nostalgic favorites "Friends of P" and "Waiting." Here's just a little sampling of the current rentals material:


What I really love about the Rentals is Matt Sharp. Not only was it his birthday, and the last day of the tour, and the day of the "all night dance party." But he's a great front man. I felt more enthusiastic about the Rentals as he was signalling for us to cheer etc. Super energetic.

Hello Banana?!

Hello readers:

Today I came across this picture on the internet. If you notice, it's a single banana wrapped in a plastic bag. This banana I assume is sold in Japan. Therefore it is ridiculously expensive (137 yen or $1.37 for one single banana!!!!) Children think it's more delicious because it's endorsed by Hello Kitty. Look carefully readers, the Hello Kitty not only endorses it, but introduces you to "Banana kun" awwww he has a name!!!!

Chocolate Deities: Religion you can Sink Your Teeth Into

I remember being sent to chibi no gakko when I was little. Chibi no gakko is Japanese School for little kids, like a summer class where they teach you that Japanese cultural stuff. There I sweltered away in Fresno CA learning colors in a foreign language and learning dances to songs I didn't understand, with a bunch of kids who were all Japanese and really proud of it.

During this trying experience where temperataures were high and my language ability was nil, I learned about the shinto gods like this jolly fellow. You may recognize him as "that buddha guy who they put on teeshirts and have in front of Chinese restaurants" but nooo, chibi no gakko students know him as, "Hotei" the god of happiness. That's why he's fat.

Check out this chocolate Hotei. Deeelicious

The Cupcake Craze That's Sweeping the Nation!

See here fans of the large onerous overweight cake! Tiny cupcakes are the craze that's sweeping the nation. Starting with a fabled NYC bakery people have rediscovered the joy of the tiny palm sized cake. (Rumor by Dom Mah) Recently I ate at the West LA Dainties Cupcakes. (www.daintiescupcakes.com) I entered fully prepared to purchase cupcakes. I had heard so much about them during the KCRW pledge drive that I just had to have the "stupid chocolate." Which was a decadent chocolate cupcake filled with chocolate creme and dipped in this chocolate ganache. This was an awesome cupcake. the baker gave them to me and said only "Today is a good day" and smiled. I felt so blessed to be the recipient of the cupcakes that I gave them away. I only got to eat 1/4 of it because my mom and friend ate the rest. One went to my boyfriend who said it was "okay."

See more of the The Complete Cupcake Bakery List. list by merlfish at ThisNext.

Just Brothers

What was your favorite track from Radiohead’s “The Bends?” Or were you so stuck on “Pablo Honey” and its #1 single “Creep” to enjoy the experimentation? Or are you a “OK Computer” loving whoo rider?

My favorite song from “The Bends” is “Just.” I fell in love with the video for this song because it was so depressing. Its vicious guitar riffs and self-loathing lyrics made for a particularly compelling combination. Our protagonist exits his car and lays in the road. His depression is so infectious that he starts a pandemic of people who give up on life and resign to lie in the road with him. It looks like something from The Stand. It’s great. It also happens to be Radiohead tracks and drummer Phil Selway's favourite song on "The Bends",

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better . . .this song came along on www.krcw.com’s Morning Becomes Eclectic. Not only is Mark Ronson the mastermind behind that toe tapping “Valerie” song with Amy Winehouse singing lead, he organized this cover (as depicted above.) This cover includes a dynamite combination of snappy horns (ala your high school jazz band) and dusty drum breaks.

Also check out the awesome graph art.
For his cover Mark Ronson not only enlisted the help of the formidable Daptones horn section (The Dap Kings) but Alex Greenwald, the lead singer of Phantom Planet (best known for "California", the theme to "The OC"). "Just" belongs to the cover canon of Quantic Soul Orchestra's "Get a Move On", Alice Russell's "Seven Nation Army" and the Daptone's own "What (Have You Done For Me Lately". The man behind "Just" is one of the most sought after DJs in the world and, as one half of AllIDo Records, Ronson is currently working with Chicago rapper Rhymefest, Australian soul singer Daniel Merryweather and fabulous pop goddess Christina Aguilera.

Wild Hibiscus

Has anyone actually tried this? The thought of adding things to champagne is always sexy. Strawberries, caviar, yes . . . but i've yet to find a petal in my bubbly. I have to admit I am intrigued with hibiscus or rose even.

#1 Single : "Fat B*tch" - the horror story of a summer associate's musical legacy

(lovingly borrowed from above the law )


X-Summers: The Bruised Booze Cruiser
Labor Day has come and gone. But even though summer is unofficially over, we still have a few summer associate stories for you.

We heard lots of rumors about the Chicago summer who, as described by one source, "got decked by a girl" after a firm-sponsored, Fourth of July boat cruise. According to one version of the story, he showed up to work the next day black and blue.

After poking around, we've assembled what we believe to be a fairly reliable account of the incident. The black-and-blue part isn't true, but the general outlines of the story are accurate:

1. Superhero name: The Bruised Booze Cruiser
2. Special power(s): Improvised musical composition; ability to piss off women, partners, and other important people.
3. Summered: Kirkland & Ellis, Chicago, summer 2007
4. Claim to fame: From our tipster:

After the Fourth of July boat cruise, one of the summers tied one too many on. At the after-party, while passing a drink to a friend, he stuck it right across the face of a girl standing nearby.
Understandably annoyed, the girl said something sort of snarky. He responded by a signing an improvised song to her, which went something like, "Fat bitch, fat bitch, you are such a fat bitch."

After he went on for about a minute, she decided she had had enough of his ditty. She emptied her drink over his head -- then socked him in the jaw.

Awesome.

5. What happened to him: In terms of his medical condition, he did NOT show up black and blue the next day, as rumored:

First, the cruise was on the 3rd, and we had the 4th off. Second, when he showed up on the 5th, he looked pretty much fine -- except for a hint of wounded pride.
As for his professional fate, we hear that he got a "cold offer" (which is when the firm extends you an offer, so you can tell prospective employers when you re-interview that you did get an offer, but makes clear that you shouldn't take it).

Apparently the coldness of the offer wasn't due to the after-party altercation. The after-party wasn't a firm-sponsored gathering, and it wasn't attended by partners. But this summer committed other errors:

He managed to piss off a partner at a golf outing as well. The partner had gone on a long vacation with his wife, and [the SA] starts blabbing about how “that must have sucked” and “I would die being with my wife along for that long.” The partner politely says something to the effect of “no, actually I really like my wife we get along great.”
Not getting the hint, [the SA] keeps blabbing about how awful that must have been. Word is the partner was so peeved he complained to recruiting.


Update: A somewhat different version of this story appears here.

Alberto Frias' Transport - Illuminated sleeping pod!

Check out this space pod. That looks really spacey. I so want to sleep there. Does the UV keep you awake at night?

Top Chef: If you can't stand the heat . . .

There always has to be a cute one. Women love cute guys. Women love cute guys who can cook even more. This is why this formula has to be repeated season after season: top chef has x# of contestants, one of which is a the token "hot guy", and some female eye candy for the boyfriends who get stuck watching the show because their girlfriends are all watching the token hot guy.

Token Hot Guy Season 1: Season one token hot guy was, Harold Dieterle. He also happened to be the early favorite and ultimate winner. How awesome is it that he has his own myspace page? And also his own restaurant called Perilla? Download the Perilla menu in PDF format and tell me that the Summer Truffle Ravioli doesn't sound really good.

Token Hot Guy Season 2: The title of "Season 2 Token Hot Guy" goes to Sam "the hot diabetic" Talbot. In his submission video he's talking about making love in duck fat. Little girls at the kids camp called him "the hot diabetic." Currently Sam, is working as a Consulting Executive Chef in New York City. He has been spending time traveling to food and wine shows and doing cooking demos. A diabetic himself, Talbot works with the Junior Diabetes Foundation and helps out with the “Chefs for a Cure” event.

Notable Mention: Carlos Fernandez: currently hosting "Miami Spice" and blog "SabrosSazon" Although mostly overlooked because he was Elia's little brother throughout the competition, I thought that he deserved the nod because of his obvious star power.

Token Hot Guy Season 3: Obviously, token hot guy season 3 was Tre. In the sea of homogeneous white boys who I easily confuse, there's Tre. You see him working out, you see him being nice to other contestants, you see him winning a trip to Italy, you see him cooking fabulous stuff, and then you see him working out some more. Note his exit interview, he's so nice!

the Dark Knight

So who isn't obsessed with Batman? Everything about him is interesting from his dark beginnings, to his mysterious connections with the supernatural Raz Al Gul and peculiar fixation with the super-sane joker ?(See Arkham Asylum)


I'm not alone in asserting that the new Batman movie is going to be fantastic. But who knows why? I sure didn't . . . until now. Was it the cryptic trailer? Was it the very short ComiCon 2007 treasure hunt? There are really very few clues as to the veracity of the rumors that the new Batman movie will "kick ass." (Did anyone see photos of GutPunch Paul? He's fearsome!)

But then along came this collection of plot-revealing photos. From the collection of photos below I assume:
1) Joker is captured by someone (arguably Gotham PD) and interrogated by Batman. Raises significant 6th amendment issues, as you see Joker cowering on the ground below Batman. Way to taint evidence Batman!
2) There is some sort of hostage situation with multiple Batmen.
3) Gadgets Gadgets Gadgets! We see the beginning of a bat computer? This makes me think: "is there an Oracle in our future?" *note tenuous oracle-joker connection which only jong probably understands.







For all photos: try BuzzSugar

kangaroos!

Penal Code Sec. 653o, which bars importation into California of any commercial product made of kangaroo, is not preempted by the federal Endangered Species Act of 1973 and related regulations, which currently do not prohibit importation of kangaroo products.
Viva! International Voice for Animals v. Adidas Promotional Retail Operations, Inc. - filed July 23, 2007
Cite as 2007 SOS 4513
Full text http://www.metnews.com/sos.cgi?0707%2FS140064

dancing transformers

I was searching for a mini cooper transformer video on Youtube and happened upon this hilarious video!

Tokidoki - The Moofia Series 1

tokidoki is so unbelievably cute! thanks to paul for the tokidoki dunny and pins.

I Still Remember - the song that should've been on singstar

So Yesterday I was playing the PS2 Singstar Rocks! ( http://www.us.playstation.com/SingStarRocks/ ) They have the unbelievably hard Bloc Party song "Banquet" as a song option. I had very little idea about what the song was about before we tried it out on the singstar. I still have no idea what the song is about. There's references to biting, and turning into the light, and smoking guns. Is it about vampires?

More accessible is the song "I Still Remember" a bittersweet reminiscence of what could've been. awwww


Mossteph's Top 10 Things Learned While Playing Singstar
1) You must hold the microphone upsidedown like you're 50 Cent (it makes for a higher score.)
2) Google what a "moskva" is. it may help you understand what "Winds of Change" is about.
3) I went on a date with someone who kinda looks like Robert Smith
4) Lynyrd Skynyrd v. Niel Young (had an early version of the lyrical rivalry?!)
5) That Good Charlotte guy is currently dating Nicole Richie.
6) (more like a question) I wonder if Slipknot cares that Good Charlotte guy is wearing one of their teeshirts. How do they feel about being associated? I think they're sad.
7) "Dusty" is a great androgynous name. Boys AND girls can both be Dusty. But then it's some type of self fulfilling prophecy to have dirty kids.
8) That band "Naked Eyes" does the 80s version of Burt Bacharach classic "Always Something There to Remind Me." (see previous Burt Bacharach post)
9)(Psycho)analysis of the Gwen Stefani video for Cool - a) Gwen as a brunette is hot b) her outfit in the opening scene does not match and is pretty ugly as a whole - I dissent in part - I think it's okay from the waist up c) how are you happy hanging out with your ex boyfriend and his beautiful new girlfriend AND having flashbacks of your happy times together? This does not make sense.
10) Continuing #9 . . . why doesn't she feel like her ex boyfriend should just die? this is a feeling that I'm used to. all this friendliness is confusing.

Stephanie's Apricot Crumbles

Ingredients:

2 sticks unsalted butter, cold, cut into pieces
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup apricot jam or preserves
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger

Heat oven to 375° F. Coat an 8-inch square baking dish with 1 tablespoon of the butter.

In a food processor, combine the flour, granulated and light brown sugars, baking powder, and salt. Pulse to combine. Add the remaining butter and pulse until crumbly. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and pulse until the mixture just comes together but is still crumbly. Transfer 1/2 cup of the dough to a small bowl or cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. Use your fingertips to press the remaining dough evenly into the baking dish, pushing the dough up about 1/4 inch around the edge.

Combine the jam and ginger in a small bowl. Spread the mixture evenly over the crust. Crumble the remaining refrigerated dough over the top. Bake until golden, about 35 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for 20 minutes before cutting.

Tip: If you're time-pressed, just stick the pan in the freezer for 5 minutes instead of waiting for the bars to cool on the counter.

Yield: Makes 9 servings

CALORIES 408 (46% from fat); FAT 21g (sat 13g); SUGAR 23g; PROTEIN 3g; CHOLESTEROL 77mg; SODIUM 111mg; FIBER 1g; CARBOHYDRATE 52g

Real Simple, JUNE 2006


J Bar Variation

Add apple pie filling instead of apricot and ginger. Apple pie filing is more moist. This recipe will require 4 additional minutes of baking time and Cinnamon if not included in your pie filling.

Personality Test

So I took this personality test. I'm some sort of bisexual anarchist. I have very low consideration for authority and scored high in traditionally feminine and masculine traits. I'm thinking this test isn't very accurate.


My personalDNA Report

Mozzer

Dear hero imprisoned
With all the new crimes that you are perfecting
Oh, I cant help quoting you
Because everything that you said rings true
And now in my cell
(well, I followed you)
And heres a list of who I slew

Reggie kray - do you know my name ?
Oh, dont say you dont
Please say you do, (oh) I am :

The last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous
International playboys
And in my cell
(well, I loved you)
And every man with a job to do
Ronnie kray - do you know my face ?
Oh, dont say you dont
Please say you do, (oh) I am :

The last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous
International playboys

In our lifetime those who kill
The newsworld hands them stardom
And these are the ways
On which I was raised
These are the ways
On which I was raised

I never wanted to kill
I am not naturally evil
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you
Have I failed ?

Oh... 

Oh, the last of the famous
International playboys
The last of the famous

burt!

Yesterday I saw Burt Bacharach in concert. Honestly, I knew only like 5 songs as Burt Bacharach songs. At the end of the show I came to the realization that I knew all the songs just didn't know they were Burt Bacharach songs!

Cousin said something like "When else are we going to see 12 people assembled for the express purpose of performing "That's What Friends are For"?" I was thinking "never ever!"

Did you know he wrote the "always something there to remind me" song fromthe 80s? I didn't know that!

Jellies that you can't eat.

Also notable are the stupid comments by people on you tube like "i hear that if you touch jellyfish they die" or "you're crazy to go in that lake" He probably wasn't even in the lake just panning his camera around. I didn't see any regulator bubbles. did you?

Check Out Adam and Joe Go To Tokyo - normally un funny and ofensive but this one is good

IP and Tea . . .

FROM THE MAY ABA JOURNAL

Mixing IP with Mmmmmm
By Martha NeilThere’s a multipage nondisclosure agreement that visitors must sign before they’re allowed in the kitchen at Moto restaurant in Chicago. And some of the food prepared by executive chef Homaro Cantu is served with a copyright notice.
From left: Lawyer Charles Valauskas and his chef-client Homaro Cantu snack on photos printed on edible paper--one of Cantu's many culinary-related inventions.
PHOTOGRAPH BY CALLIE LIPKIN
Cantu is part culinary pioneer, part prolific inventor—which makes him an intellectual property attorney’s dream cli­ent. What worries Cantu most, he says, isn’t chefs or individual diners trying to re-create his signature preparation and pres­entation. It’s corporations capitalizing on his gastronomic inventions and restaurant management methods without authorization. Hence Cantu’s close relationship with his lawyer, Charles C. Valauskas. The two frequently talk and meet for meals to make sure no opportu­nity is missed to patent, copyright, trademark or otherwise protect Cantu’s creations from would-be business buccaneers.“He’s got a large intellectual property portfolio, and we talk on a very, very regular basis,” says Valauskas, a principal in the three-lawyer IP boutique Valauskas & Pine in Chicago. “It’s listening to what the new inventions are; it’s strategizing what’s the best way to protect the new techniques.”It would be standard practice, for instance, for an IP attorney to file a pa­tent application once a cli­ent has completed a new invention. But because Valauskas and Cantu are in such regular contact, Valauskas can follow Cantu’s ideas as they develop. “We stay on top of that,” Valauskas says, “and we continue to file as he continues to refine his invention.”Those inventions include the whimsical—a spiral-handled fork designed to hold a sprig of basil that adds an aromatic element to each bite of food taken from the business end of the utensil—as well as high-tech business management tools. One of those tools involves a camera set unobtrusively into an upper wall of Moto. The camera is linked to a computer, allowing staff to track important aspects of the restaurant’s operation. The system can warn when usage rates threaten to deplete supplies, notify the kitchen when a diner leaves for the restroom so the chefs can adjust the spacing of their preparations, and anticipate orders from regular customers. And it’s all linked to Cantu’s cell phone so he can be in the loop even when he’s not in the building.Then there’s Cantu’s celebrated edible paper—a soybean and cornstarch concoction that can be imprinted with virtually any image and any flavor. The chef prints his menu on it (along with a copyright notice), and when diners are finished ordering, they can eat it.In addition to the copyright, Valauskas has filed a patent application on the process Cantu uses to create the paper. Both believe the paper holds the potential for myriad commercial uses such as magazine advertising inserts.Valauskas began rep­resenting Cantu about four years ago, after the chef realized he needed to find an IP attorney and asked another lawyer he knew for a recommendation. At that point, Cantu was seeking to patent a tiny, see-through polymer oven that allowed food to be cooked at the table without any visible power source. The two met, and Cantu showed off his oven. “I saw the prototype, and it floored me,” Valauskas recounts. “I just got excited at the possibilities.”©2007 ABA Journal

looking for a job?

Marcel definitely qualifies as having "crazy hair." Would he be a good candidate for "office jester?" read below.

Office Jester
Posted Mar 30
The Motley Fool, Alexandria, VA

Office JesterThe Motley Fool seeks an outgoing, multi-talented Fool to be our full-time Office Jester. That's right; we work hard and have fun too. We couldn’t be the Motley Fool without our own Jester, after all. The ideal individual will embrace our core value of Joyful Optimism, bringing humor, entertainment, and amusement to all employees and visitors of Fool Global HQ. This is not a new position but it offers great flexibility in execution.

Primary Responsibilities/Objectives:

* Roam office entertaining employees

* Plan and execute parties and happy hours

* Participate in all company meetings and gatherings as an interstitial speaker

* Identify struggling or overworked Fools or Teams and brighten their day

* Function as office DJ, managing/programming the office sound system. Manage musical requests efficiently, while keeping the office bumping.

* Order pizza for Pizza Day

* Repair damaged jester caps

* Construct complex balloon animals

* Care and feeding of the office monkey, Dr. Zaius

* Ride in Foolmobile as body double decoy for Gardner brothers

* Piggyback carry the winner of The Motley Fool Stock Picking Contest in St. Patrick’s Day

Parade Core Competencies:

* Current on all reality TV

* Pop Culture expert, able to postulate about Season 3 of Lost*

Always at the ready with a quip or comeback.

* Equally comfortable in a jester cap and bear suit

* MS Excel

* Proven game room skills as a formidable adversary in Halo, Ms. Pacman and Bubble Hockey; ability to convincingly let management win on occasion.*

Juggle chainsaws, bowling balls, and one item of your choosing

* Have >50 answers to knock-knock jokes, at least half of which must be funny

* Must have authored at least one viral video of moderate fame.

* Can tap a keg on the first try

* Extra napkins and utensils at the ready for Fools eating at their desks

* Can chug beer, shotgun beer, guzzle beer, snort beer, play beer pong, flip cup, 3 man, do beer bongs, beer cheers, keg stands, and bluegills with the best of them

Preferred Qualities:

* Friends would tell you that you are “seriously funny!” but they are laughing so hard they can’t breathe

* Tall or short but we prefer that you not be of average height, as it’s not as funny

* Crazy hair

* Annoying and easily recognizable laugh

* Friends with at least one B list celebrity. (No reality contestants)

* Experience in three of the following: Stand up, Street mime, rally racing, horticulture, pottery, rapping, paragliding, cattle ranching, roller skiing, ballet, actual break dancing/popping, ice fishing, chess

* Blood type AB (or equivalent)

* Ability to type 90 words a minute, replacing all vowels with various forms of smileys

Education:

* Clown college, Improv school, School of the Americas, Brown, or equivalent experience

APPLY ONLY at jobs.Fool.com

Meiji - Kinoko No Yama (Chocolate Coated Mushroom Shaped Cookies) 3.13 Oz

This is the best snack ever. i love it. people in my office love it. it's internationally famous. (via maki)

Wallpapers

Dear Readers,



This week I was totally inspired by my friend's dedication to art. As a matter of fact I am quite jealous of her talent. But back to her dedication, she's having her entire back tattooed with her family name, a chinese goddess and a demon. She also says she was born on the day of "conflicted karma" and dualism affects her life. I thought it was a beautiful idea for body art. We also discussed how eerily accurate Chinese astrology and fortunes can be.



The statue and the colorscheme of this wallpaper remind me of her. (via charlesyesuwan)

Anonymous Lawyer

May 1, 2006
Return to Index
Anonymous Law Firm named top firm in Bosnia
Bosnia's celebrated legal journal, "Bosnia Legal News and Sausage Report," released its annual law firm rankings on May 1, 2006, and once again, for the third consecutive year, Anonymous Law Firm landed first on the list. Despite the lack of a Bosnian office, associates working out of the London office began representing Bosnian clients in their local jurisdiction in March of 1999. We quickly developed a reputation as a sensitive, responsive, and quick-reaction law firm, able to deal with the complex needs of sheep farmers and goat manufacturers in the hills of Bosnia. The Firm is proud of its involvement with the Bosnian community and takes part in Bosnia's annual "Kill Your Third-Born Son" festival.



The above is an excerpt taken from www.AnonymousLawFirm.com. Hilarious site re: big law firm life. I wouldn't know anything about big law firm life, but I know some archetypical characters persist in firms of all sizes, even those with 13 members.

I think this person looks like my twin!

asahi the dog

shoot to kill

So some people were scared of me when they heard of my propensity to strike my friends or random guys at clubs. Invariably these tales ended up with someone falling over, and me saying "I'm not that sorry."

Now check this out . . . This past week I was invited to a shooting range. This was awesome. Vivian and Portia (both small asian women about my size) like shooting guns. Especially this big rifle. This is a close relative of the gun the military uses in Iraq.

I shot 40 rounds. 38 hit the target. I'm not sure where 2 went. 37 or so were in the black area that I was aiming for.

I think most surprising was the way the shooting range smells. Like burning latex gloves. Or an intense copymachine.* special thanks to Mikey for lending me materials and showing me how to shoot.

SUSHI PUPS - DOGGIE TOY SET

Check out the dog o-nigiri. Silly hakujin readership . . . I didn't mean that it was made out of dog meat, but, these are sushi toys made for dogs. I like that uni looking one. If i had permanent access to dogs, I would purchase these toys and let them chew on them. LOVE IT! (via kayzee)

Does Your Dog Like Phish?

Does your dog spin at Grateful Dead concerts?

Does your dog go through periods where he giggles at everything and then eats or takes a nap?

Does your dog not like to brush his hair?

Does your dog avoid culturally oppressive norms like "marriage" or "monogamy"?

Does your dog play the guitar?

Does your dog know the way to San Jose?



If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, he may need the above "Hippie Dog Costume" (via kayzee)

Wee Ninja

wee ninja speaks for himself.

Ravinstyle: Kara Janx Silk Kimono Dress

Kara Janx, of Project Runway fame, designed this dress. None of her other crap from the show looked this good. I guess it's true that the act of observation changes that which is observed. She's doing much better now that she's not designing for her competitors or moms or whatever. I love this dress. Even though it's accentuated with pink, and I abhor most pink things, I would wear this dress everywhere.

valentine's day

should be renamed "singles awareness day" because people in relationships try to forget and people who are single are forced to remember.

Branch Knit Octopus

Check out this octopus. Do octopi even get cold? I can imagine happy babies chewing blissfully on each of its tentacles.

Belted Shirtdress

I am forever looking for a shirtdress that doesn't make me look like a boy. I think that this will do the trick though. It looks like a crisp linen-ey fabric but curves to fit your body well. I love the idea of a dress to avoid picking out "work separates." It's just easier to plan your outfit!

tokidoki Wall Decals

Tokidoki is the best!



I love the skull-esque heart and crossbone pattern. If i had a hip cafe or a little boutique, I'd use em all over!

Downey Cops

not only has my dad been pulled over because he "looked mexican," but downey cops have a long history of harassing people of color. read below:




Accusations of Racial Misconduct
In recent years, controversy has sprung up with the 2002 shooting of unarmed 26 year old Gonzalo Martinez by Downey police officers during a traffic stop. Gonzalo was being stopped due to suspicion of drunk driving. After finally surrenduring to police only after a chase, police claim that he made a questionable movement with his left hand which caused them to open fire. A local resident caught the action on camera and the tape of the shooting was released in the US as well as Argentina and other Latin American countries, showing the man being shot over 30 times by officers using semi automatic weapons. This case is still being investigated.

Justin Timberlake

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing Justin Timberlake with Pink and Timbaland. I'm sure I wasn't the oldest person there, however the screaming throngs of 13 year old girls were quite overwhelming.

Notably, I saw one a-hole try to evict a thirteen year old girl from her seat while her mom was away. When I have kids I'm going to teach them to yell "pedofile! why are you even talking to me?!" when some adult tries something like that.

Further, the stage show was awesome. I was just thinking of the amazing feats of engineering that went into making his futuristic four pronged stage complete with four tiny bars and bartenders.

Almost stealing the show was Pink's ribbon-ey acrobatic act and Timbaland's musical homage to his own career.

Cop Watch

-Individual Rights-


California Highway Patrol officer who shot driver of car being pursued by authorities was not entitled to qualified immunity in wrongful death action where officer had been assigned to sit in his patrol car parked on the road and never obtained permission to enter the pursuit; failed to communicate with any of the other units engaged in the chase, barging ahead of them, and twice using force without authorization by ramming his patrol car against the driver’s vehicle; and ultimately shot the driver without warning and without the need to defend himself or the other officers.

Adams v. Speers - filed January 10, 2007 Cite as No. 0515159

Full text

http://www.metnews.com/sos.cgi?0107%2F0515159